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From:

antivirus

I'm not blonde.

( so... no??? and honestly he's too tightly wound to just AGREE to a nickname, it has to be forced upon him unwillingly and he'll grow to accept it begrudgingly. )

From:

restraints

The saying is not 'gentlemen prefer light-ish brown slightly sandy hair but blonde in certain lights,' despite its greater accuracy.

[ even over text, leon can probably imagine the dumb shit-eating grin on luis's face ]

Maybe I should say you're not not blond.

From:

antivirus

( ugh. this guy is so annoying. 😤 and not in a charming, endearing way, AT ALL!!! that's why Leon is still here having this conversation, when he has every capacity to ignore Spaniard scientists if he wanted to. )

I'm not blonde.

And pretty sure 007 doesn't have a flamethrower car, either.

From:

restraints

[ pov of leon shooting dudes left-handed while angrily texting ]

Of course not, of course not. My mistake.

;)

There's one that goes invisible, surely there's a model with a flamethrower.

From:

antivirus

( regenerators will wait for him to do a puzzle surely they'll take five when he has to tell off a Spaniard )

Seems a little ostentatious for him.

( Luis are you waiting for Chris Redfield to sweep you off your feet? because minigun flamethrower car sure sounds Chris-core )

From:

restraints

[ well he did just say he wouldn't turn a man down etc, but redfield would never roll up in an aston martin if he could bring a basic bitch military truck instead

also not blond

also is leon just going to IGNORE HIS ATTEMPT AT AN EMOJI ]

It's stylish if it's hidden away in a very fashionable car. No points for something welded to the top of a truck.

Sancho, I can't believe I have not asked before now: you must have a callsign, yes?

From:

antivirus

( Leon is just about as fun via text as he is in person. which is to say: hardly at all. you really gotta read between the lines for it. )

Not much of a code name if I just tell people what it is.

From:

restraints

[ fortunately (unfortunately?) there's none competition right now. probably 95% of the people in luis's phone contacts r dead, unless he wants to text salazar.

ada left him on read rip ]

Who am I going to tell, the corpses?

Is it cool? Are you a double O?

From:

antivirus

( Leon should definitely not tell the former Umbrella asset his code name. it just turns out he does not care that much about following protocol. what are they gonna do, fire him? )

Condor One. I said Turkey would do, if big ass birds was the idea. They didn't go for it.

From:

restraints

[ oh no it's not cool at all. good thing nobody can see the former umbrella asset's face right now ]

very

majestic

[ what could possibly be interfering with his typing, is it the fact that he's laughing so hard ]

From:

antivirus

( how does Leon JUST KNOW somewhere Luis is nearly in inappropriate tears at how stupid his code name is )

Yeah, yeah. Get it out of your system.

If cool code names is what you're after, you'll have to hold out for Bond.

( good news is if it takes a year or longer, he'll even be blonde !!! )

From:

restraints

[ it is a mysterious mystery ~~also that is the exact same color as leon's hair ok!!!~~ ]

It must be an American thing about size, as you said

[ Ostrich One. Cassowary One. Kori Bustard One, if it has to be a flighted bird. ]

Not that carrion birds aren't an important part of any ecosystem.

I will just have to lower my expectations, I think, and not rely on handsome strangers.

From:

antivirus

( now, Leon is a bit of a dick. he deflects flirting like a teflon vest. he will murder ganados with chains they are both still shackled to. he will shove Luis against walls after unfortunate Umbrella affiliations are revealed, and not offer any apologies for it after.

but, he's not completely heartless. and Luis wanting to get the hell out of here, and being willing to help Ashley (and yeah fine, Leon himself by extension) despite the fact he's got to stick his neck out to do it, counts for something. he could leave Luis hanging on a prayer. but he knows what it is like to be stuck in a whirlwind of death and terror and not know if there's a way out of it. a bit of hope in a situation like that can go a long way. )

What happened to being a team? Pretty sure we have to rely on each other to make that work.

From:

restraints

[ aw leon ]

You know I said that because you are a much better shot than I am.

From:

antivirus

( don't give him too much credit he did get to agree he was handsome to be reassuring )

Still am, so until Bond shows up I guess you're stuck with me.

From:

restraints

I am, of course, eternally grateful.

[ wait for it ]

Senor Condor.

From:

antivirus

Nevermind, Pierce Brosnan can have you.

From:

restraints

Oh suddenly this is not a safe space for codename related jests

From:

antivirus

Easy for you to say, as the only one that can make them.

From:

restraints

Mine would be Don Quijote, obviously.

Hmmm or maybe one of the Bond girls.

~~[ maybe one that dies... ]~~

From:

antivirus

You don't get to pick your own code name. How do you think I ended up a Condor.

One of the Bond girls, huh?

( Luis how confident are you that Leon does not know his Bond references.... )

From:

restraints

That is not actually a point in favor of letting you pick anything.

My vote is for the nuclear physicist girl, who is also a supermodel and survives all the way to the end.

[ and isn't vesper the double agent ]

Edited Date: 2023-06-07 04:19 am (UTC)

From:

antivirus

Doesn't really matter when you don't get a choice.

Log Cabin Girl could work.

( this is not an earnest suggestion. Leon is just being catty by not providing an actual name in his first bout. and they did have a memorable time in a log cabin together!!! )